TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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