Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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