omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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