just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
