two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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