Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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