Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Come share oat with me in your robe
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
