News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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