i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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