Can Purell be used as lube?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
