I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
