I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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