i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
