Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
