I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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