Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
