yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
