so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
