If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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