i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I would fuck him just for his dog
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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