Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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