its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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