oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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