I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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