Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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