you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
