You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
