i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
