I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Randomize
