i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
