this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
