Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
