2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
