i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
