It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
