You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
