Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize
