plz talk dirty to me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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