well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
