Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
