to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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