my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
