i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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