I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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