I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
