I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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