I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
