I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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