Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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