i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
