god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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