We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
