i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
