Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
