I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Send help, water and tortillas.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Randomize
