i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
