the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
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Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
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I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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