dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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