When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
