I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
