nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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