New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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