Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
sex in a hospital.. check
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
