well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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