I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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