Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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